I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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