highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
zippers are such a cool invention
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
