How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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