Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
