Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
