Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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