just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
