I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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