he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
