We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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