your thong is hanging out like whoa
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
