Me too!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
