I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i will never coherently bang her
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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