how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
