That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
