I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
