I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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