Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
