singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
