non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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