No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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