Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
