would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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