I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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