I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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