And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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