Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
