The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
