You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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