im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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