just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
