Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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