If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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