Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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