last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
