I love black thongs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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