I think im going to throw up on grandma
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
