I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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