so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
