My nipple is on Facebook.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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