from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I FOUND THE LEGS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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