I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
