im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
