Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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