i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd cum for enchiladas.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
