Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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