I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
