After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
there is glitter all over my balls
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