I'm so fucking centered right now
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
