Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
