I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I understand Curling. That high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Randomize
