She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
