Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
